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I really don't want to draw this birthday present for my sister. I hate confronting my lack of skill and I hate doing things for other people.
That part in Onna no Sono no Hoshi when Kobayashi had to make the petalist sums up my feelings pretty well.
#ramble #onnanosononohoshi
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Oh wait nvm the banner's back. I'm still scared. Guess I'll do other things.
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I was gonna to start learning about ORMs but now I'm kinda scared to download npm packages. This afternoon, there was a banner in TOP that warned against npm installs because of the Shai Hulud attack.
The banner's gone now, so it should be safe now right?( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)
Anyways I took a nice long nap and started learning perl! It's weird how different but similar it is to javascript, as stupid as that sounds. I heard that "bless", "kill" and "die" are actual functions in perl - that was all the reason I needed to start learning.
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Watching youtube videos is an exercise in misery.
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The Death Becomes Her cast recording is, once again, stuck in my head.
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This morning, I was trying to identify the different weeds near my home, which reminded me of the community garden I volunteered at. It was a time when I had no direction in life. Getting to do all those farming game chores in real life was really cool. At the end of each volunteer shift, we would all have a meal made from the day's harvest. It was simple and honest; I even considered a career in horticulture.
I was often assigned weeding duty. The most satisfying weeds to deal with were the bulbed oxalis. They have really cute heart-shaped leaves. Removing them felt like detective work: you have to follow its winding thread-like root, careful to not break it and lose the trail, until you eventually reach the culprit - little nutrient-stealing bulbs hiding deep beneath the earth. The root sometimes goes as long as my arm!
I eventually stopped volunteering. There was just one thing I couldn't get past - the almost 4 hour commute to and from the garden. Can't imagine putting up with that nowadays.
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It's funny how a seemingly atrocious drawing can look completely fine the next morning.
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I wish i had waterproof pants
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i think i'm going to take a break from coding today…
Maybe i'll actually start drawing again! Or i could continue playing Metaphor…
i think i feel like shit because in haven't drawn for awhile😔